RUNNING ON EMPTY

Running on empty, my tank is vapor locked, my tires are flat and my brakes are squeeling.
I have come to a halt, as I slide from poor breaks slightly over the white line.
My front tires are low and the treads are bare from storms or going down damaged, and bad roads repeating milage. My paint has worn thin it seems to chip easy these days, leaving a purple bruised color in it's place. My trunk won't open anymore, I can't carry so much weight. My hood is dented from the extra loads on top. Things that had to be carried with everywhere. My windshield is cracked from all the stone bullets that have shot at me as I drove down the long long road, so I don't see as clearly now. My blinkers have a broken light so my directions seems a little off. My engine's spark plugs have worn and don't spark like they used to throwing my timing awry making me slower. I tend to choke as I start up, that old cough in the frosty mornings makes it hard to get reving. When they say lets go for a spin I want to just do a u turn back home because I need more pit stops. I now need special fuels, additives and special drops in my tank to keep the heart of my engine running.
It is hard to hear the talk of putting my chasis to rest or to be cared for in a special home. Hearing them planning where my final resting place will be can be stressful. I watch as the sun rises brightly over the junkyard and sadly watch it again and again as it sets over the next hill.

The Hauntings

It is amazing the saying "What goes around comes around." could be so true, how timeless Karma is and how it can keep coming back around to break our hearts. Or the saying "History repeats itself." I swore I would be different. It seems all I ever wanted to be was a good mother but alas that old ghost of the past sneaks up again and again to send a shiver. "Look in the mirror it whispers, whoooo do youuuu seeee?" I am afraid to look, I don't want to see, yet a pointed icy finger turns my my chin towards the mirror. " No I say, I am not..., not doing what my mother did!, I am different. " Are you? Are you so very different? the ghost says? Look again!" "No my daughter just knows me she pushes my buttons, she does things that remind me of the anguish I felt with her father by some of her actions or inactions. " The ghost says "But wasn't that true of you too, with your mother, didn't you push your mother's buttons. ?" "Yes but she really didn't want me. Until later... well "Well what the ghost bellows what is so different?" " She was hard but she taught me so much, and now I do know how much she loved me. "I answered" "I wanted my daughter" I continued firmly, " I planned every detail even the day of her birth, and to plan to have to raise her alone if need be.""I had the most beautiful and smart daughter anyone could ever ask for." The ghost said "As your mother once was you are now, as you were your daughter is now, as your mother is now you will be, as you are now , your daughter will be!" "Go!" I say " Haunt me no more!" "I love her to the depth of my being my soul, she is the air that I breath, she is my pixy dust, she lifts me from my burdons with her very touch her eyes light my way and her intelligence so gloriously confirms my hopes." "She is all that I ever wanted to be and more, so so very much more!" "So be gone ghost!" "Haunt me no more!" "I will always try to keep our communication going, and to let her know how I feel, but I have a big job to do and if it means I loose her, so be it!" "I will know I prepared her to exist in our future world, to be prepared to be someone that can hold her own head up with dignity, self-respect and confidence, she thinks with ethics, integrity, morality, from her head and her heart. She will live a better life than me either in my honor or not but she will live and live better and more than me! So be gone this morning, ghost, I am weary of seeing you so much. But alas she is almost grown now and I won't have to hear your warnings every day. Although I am sure you will visit me soon enough when she is gone with your," " I told yooouu sooo's!"